(I have rewritten this page.)
How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.
Songwriters: Barry and Robin Gibb, 1971
Survivors of abuse live with broken hearts. For some of us, our hearts were broken a long time ago, and for others, your heart was broken more recently. Many of us suffered alone, and had no one to console us. We had no "tools" to help get us through, and no people who were watching out for us. The abuser betrayed our trust, and stole some, or much of our precious lives. Some of us were abused one time, and some of us were abused dozens or hundreds of times. I can bet money that after each episode, many of those abusers "promised" it would never happen again; and so we let our hearts believe those lies, only to have our hearts broken again.
The 80's, 90's musical group, the BeeGee’s sang, “How can you mend a broken heart?" 'How can a loser ever win?" Some abuse survivors have probably heard these comments: "Stop being so sensitive." “You’ll get over it.” "Why can't you just get on with your life?" “Time heals all things.” “There's a reason for everything.” But, oh, how these comments seem shallow compared to the depth of heartache caused by fractured and broken bones, bruises, and vile words that have been seared into our memory. Bones heal, bruises disappear, words linger, but hearts stay wounded and broken for a very long time.
My faith tradition gave (and still gives) me the hope and support needed to heal my broken heart. It still can hurt a bit when I see large, loving families, and people who have "their people" who share history, and deeply care about each other; but I wipe away a few tears, and get on with life, reminding myself of how very thankful I am for the blessings I have. I am keenly aware that there are people who have only mere crumbs of family and friend relationships, as has been the experience of an older disabled woman who offered her adult children $1000 each if they would visit her at Christmas so she wouldn't be alone.
When I remember the promises of Bible Scripture that remind me of the God who created me, sees me, knows my name, who cares about my sorrows, who loves me, and who does not see me as a “loser,” I am hopeful.
I pray that you, too, will be hopeful, and that this new year and new decade will be a time of healing for you! (January 2020)
Book of Psalms Scripture Promise # 1
God is near to the brokenhearted..
(Our Creator God understands our human vulnerability to broken-heartedness, so He will comfort us.)
Book of Psalms Scripture Promise # 2
...and He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His hand.
(Our Sheltering God will raise us up as if we were on eagle’s wings, and will hold us in His protective hands.)
Book of Revelation Scripture Promise # 3
He will wipe all tears from their eyes,
and there will be no more death, suffering, crying, or pain.
These things of the past are gone forever.
(Our Loving God promises that, in the next life, our eternal life, there will be an absence of broken-heartedness.)
What I Have Learned
1. Healing from a broken heart is possible, even though sadness can continue for a long time, even a lifetime.
2. The inability to work through brokenness on your own is a real possibility. Seeking the counsel of a wise and trusted person, and/or a professional therapist is a positive, self-care thing to do!
When you feel the first stirring of hope in your heart, grab it and hold onto that hope like a lifeline because it is. God can mend our broken hearts, and can turn our scars into strength for the journey ahead. Healing is a process that happens little by little, and over time, but with prayer and faith, a broken heart can be mended, and life can be good!
I pray God's blessings on you as you move forward.
August 1, 2019
A Prayer for You
May God heal you, mind, body and soul;
May your pain cease, may your strength increase.
May your fears be released.
May blessings, love and joy surround you. Amen.
(Prayer and Blessing by Rabbi Naomi Levy, “Talking to God. Personal Prayers for Times of Joy, Sadness, Struggle, and Celebration”)
© Copyright Shirley Myers